Sunday 19 September 2010

:(

I'm struggling right now, i really am. A few months ago i felt like i was holding a million different things in my arms, but they were all perfectly balanced. Now its like someone has put their foot out in front of me, tripped me up, and my millions of perfectly balanced things have come cascading down on to the floor. I'm scrabbling around desperately trying to pick everything up again, but as soon as I've got a few things back in my arms, a whole load more fall back on to the floor.
Things are slipping away from me and i don't know how to get them back.
Recently a friend has got back in touch, she's worried about me and wants to see me, but all i feel like doing at the moment is shutting the world out so i can focus on me and get back to some form of routine, (which was one of the many things that I'd dropped on the floor).
Why do i have to fight so desperately for a tiny shred of normality?
I need hugs and chocolate, lots and lots of chocolate.